Carnography

Ghost Stories (2018)

I have been waiting to see this movie for months, ever since I first saw the trailer for it late last year. A British horror movie from one of the same people behind the TV show The League of Gentlemen? That from the very first trailer promises to mess with our perceptions? Not to mention all the reviews from people who saw it at the festivals and conventions before it got a wide release who couldn't say enough good things about it. My only fear was that Ghost Stories would fall into the same pit as so many other films I want to see at the cinema but never make it to my local multiplex, but for once the gods smiled upon me and it came out this week. So now to see if my anticipation will be rewarded or crushed underfoot.

Professor Philip Goodman is a sceptical parapsychologist who makes his living debunking paranormal phenomena and exposing fake psychics. He is contacted by Charles Cameron, another parapsychologist who disappeared some years previously, who challenges Goodman with three cases that Cameron claims he cannot explain away. So Goodman goes investigating them, thinking he can easily find rational explanations for all of them, but each case is more bizarre than the last. From ghostly encounters in old warehouses to strange creatures in the woods at night to an apparent poltergeist and a monstrous baby, Goodman finds that things are getting more and more confusing, and reality starts to blur for him as he himself starts to see and experience apparently supernatural events. How are these three cases connected and what is Charles Cameron's ultimate goal in trying to make Goodman investigate them - and what is happening to Goodman's world?

Hmm. It's been several hours since I saw Ghost Stories now, and I'm still not sure how I feel about the ending. And I can't even explain here why I'm feeling conflicted, as to do so would be a pretty big spoiler and I'm not going to do that to anyone who wants to see the film themselves. Then again, I'd also definitely recommend Ghost Stories to everyone as it's a very good film, so I guess I'm okay with the ending being what it was. The only thing I'll say about it is that the film likes to mess with your perceptions - hell, it admits that in the trailer and with its tagline of, "The brain sees what it wants to see."

The atmosphere that Ghost Stories creates is by far its biggest achievement. The three stories Goodman investigates are pretty simple in terms of ghost stories - there's the haunted warehouse, the strange goat-like creature on the country road, and the poltergeist - but its the way they're told to us that ratchets up the tension to almost unbearable levels in places. Yes, there are jump scares, but they're organic jump-scares - they flow with the pace of the story and don't feel like they've been shoehorned in for a cheap scare. There's plenty of scares that aren't jump-scares as well - shadowy figures standing just out of focus in the background, lights turning off one by one to leave a hapless night watchman in total darkness, and a plethora of strange coincidences that you start to notice more and more as the film progresses, cluing the audience into the fact that there's more going on here than is on the surface - but what is it? At one point I spent about a minute being terrified of what seemed to be a one-eyed creature peering through a car window... before realising that it was actually the front passenger seat headrest shot slightly out of focus. That's what Ghost Stories' playing around with perception did to me.

There are quite a few references to past horror classics in the film as well - the Hammer Horrors are probably the most important as they probably provided a lot of the influence that went into this film, but I also spotted a quite beautiful homage to The Evil Dead at one point, and there's also the odd nod to Poltergeist and the story of the Enfield Poltergeist as well, among others. Clearly, Ghost Stories was a labour of love for its creators, both in the film version and its original theatrical version. And as for the ending? Well, it all fits together with the events of the film, at least, and is its own brand of horror. The best I can say is that it's going to divide audiences, but it's still more than worth seeing the film to find out whether you love or hate the ending yourself.

 

 

Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996)

Sometimes, you will find yourself watching a film or a TV show of a certain... quality, and when you come to check the credits you might will find that the director is someone called Alan Smithee. And if you were to then look up Mr Smithee's filmography, you'd see that the man has had a very long and varied career. The thing is, despite all evidence to the contrary, Alan Smithee is not actually the worst director in existence. Alan Smithee, in fact, doesn't even exist. The name is actually a pseudonym that directors use when they feel that a film does not reflect their creative vision for it, or otherwise want to distance themselves from it for whatever reason.

Hellraiser: Bloodline is an Alan Smithee film.

The year is 2127 (and incidentally, Jason Voorhees has been cryogenically frozen for 117 years at this point) and onboard a suspiciously familiar-looking space station a man is using a combination of VR gloves and what looks like a T-400 to open a Lament Configuration, before being interrupted by a squad of space marines who promptly arrest him. The man is Dr Paul Merchant, the descendant of Phillip L'Merchant - a toymaker who was commissioned to create the very first Lament Configuration. We see that, in 1796, L'Merchant created the puzzle box for the Duc de l'Isle, a magician and occultist who goes on to summon a demon princess from hell named Angelique, thinking that he can control her. Things don't end as he expects as Angelique and his assistant betray him, and L'Merchant dies before he can be forced to create more puzzle boxes that can open doors to hell. After that we jump forward to 1996 and the building we saw was built up around where the Lament Configuration was buried in concrete at the end of Hellraiser III. Angelique travels to New York to track down John Merchant, the architect that designed the "Lament building", because he is descended from L'Merchant and so possesses the knowledge in his bloodline to finish what his ancestor started and open up a permanent gateway to hell. This brings her into conflict with "Pinhead", who wants to control the gateway himself. Oh, and Pinhead also has a Cenobite dog now. Finally, we return to 2127. Paul Merchant, who of course is another descendant of L'Merchant, has finally perfected the Elysium Configuration that can send the Cenobites back to hell and destroy them once and for all - but only if the space marines believe him and let him activate the device...

Hellraiser: Bloodline was actually directed by Kevin Yagher, who worked primarily in make-up special effects before and after deciding to try his hand at directing. Among many other credits in the horror genre, he was responsible for the make-up design of Freddy Krueger in the Nightmare on Elm Street movies 2,3 and 4, so we can clearly see that he's got some skills in this genre. Yagher's version of Hellraiser: Bloodline contained much more graphic imagery, plot and explanations for everything that happened in the film (which, after having read the synopsis above, I'm sure you'll agree was needed). The producers, however, didn't like his version and wanted Pinhead to appear in the film and play a much larger role much earlier in the runtime than at the 40-minute mark that Yagher's version would have brought him in at. In the end the producers just went behind Yagher's back and cut the film to fit what they wanted, which caused Yagher to quit the film in disgust and remove his name from the credits. And who could blame him? The part of the film that suffered the most was the story set in 1796, which had included four "Gambler" Cenobites created by Angelique. All of the scenes involving them were deleted by the meddling studio executives, however, so the most we have of them are a few grainy pictures. Which is a shame, as their visual design is far far better than the Cenobites we ended up with - the Twin Cenobite and Fido the Cenobite dog (and you thought that the new Cenobites in Hellraiser III were cheesy).

Obviously the story suffered terribly from the cuts... but if I'm completely honest there are some plot holes in the film that I'm pretty sure would have been there regardless of whether anything had been cut from the film or not. Why can Pinhead pull the box from people's hands again suddenly after not being able to before? What's the deal with the Cenobite dog? Why does Angelique have such different powers than Pinhead, despite the film implying that they were more or less on the same rank? And seriously, what the hell was the deal with that Cenobite dog? It could barely move without showing how animatronic it was, so it looked cheesy as hell, and was pretty much useless for most of the film anyway except for an airlock gore shot.

Hellraiser: Bloodline was supposed to be the end of the entire Hellraiser series, wrapping it up neatly. Amazingly, despite how badly received the film was by fans and critics alike (I myself spent years insisting that there were only ever three movies in the series because I just wanted to forget that Bloodline even existed), it didn't kill the franchise, but this was the last in the series to get a theatrical release - all the movies after this one were direct-to-video, which was in itself a kiss of death for the franchise, at least in terms of quality...

 

V/H/S Viral (2014)

There is an idiom in popular culture today known as "nuking the fridge". It refers to the scene in the movie Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull where Jones climbs into a fridge to ride out a nuclear explosion, and is defined as "to exhaust a Hollywood franchise with disappointing sequels." The fact that I'm starting this review of V/H/S Viral with a discussion of this phrase should really key you in to things not boding well for the third and final chapter of this anthology series.

So, we all know how this goes now: there are several short films by various directors; all of them are found-footage and all of them have an overall 'theme' that links them together; and there's a wraparound segment that also has a rough story all about the mythology of the tapes that we're watching but really, who watches an anthology film for the wraparound segments? (We'll get to that in a bit.) This time the segments are Dante the Great, by Gregg Bishop (and incidentally, he's also directing a feature-length movie based on Amateur Night from the first V/H/S), about a wannabe magician who gets hold of a mysterious cloak that gives him the power to perform real magic; Parallel Monsters, by Nacho Vigalondo (we previously saw his work in The ABCs of Death as A is for Apocalypse), about a physicist who builds a device that allows him to cross the dimensional barrier. He meets his seemingly-identical double and they agree to briefly explore the other's world for science, only to each find that their worlds are terrifyingly different; and Bonestorm by Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead, about a group of skateboarders who travel to Mexico to make a skateboarding video and stumble into a strange ritual that apparently raises the dead. The wraparound segment deals with a young man chasing after an ice cream truck that has apparently kidnapped his girlfriend, along with the police and several other people all wanting to catch footage of the chase, and the carnage the ice cream truck causes as it travels through Los Angeles.

(There was also supposed to be a fourth segment called Gorgeous Vortex, by Todd Lincoln, which was apparently about a mysterious group tracking a serial killer, but that segment was removed before release. It was supposed to be bonus footage on the DVD and Blu-Ray releases of the movie, but apparently that didn't happen in the UK and so the only way for me to see this segment right now would be to install iTunes and buy it there, and I'm not willing to put my computer through that. So incomplete review it is!)

As is tradition with the V/H/S series now, I watched V/H/S Viral with my other half, so we could see which segments we liked and disliked the most. For the first time, however, we found ourselves in complete agreement - Dante the Great was our favourite segment, because it was both relentlessly dark and fun (and we spent some time debating whether that cloak was part of the Cthulhu Mythos or not). Parallel Monsters was a close second, because it was mindblowingly original and freaky, but more than a little confusing as to just what exactly was going on in the "other" dimension. Bonestorm, unfortunately, did not win us over, primarily because we just could not stand the main characters (part of me fears we've now become old enough to become part of that "Damn skateboarders!" shakes fist group), although I was at least impressed with the indestructability of the skeleton-monks and there was some humour in it.

And then there was the wraparound segments. The overreaching theme for V/H/S Viral was "the price of fame", and so the main character of the wraparound wants to become famous by filming the next viral video, only to end up losing his girlfriend to the rampaging ice cream truck that he's trying to film. The rest of the wraparound segments are all about him chasing the truck on a BMX, while the ice cream truck broadcasts a signal that causes people to have nosebleeds and then go nuts (you know, that dodgy plot point that was introduced in the wraparound segments of V/H/S/2 along with Johnny Chinless). The end segment attempts to bring a conclusion to that whole theory; a rather apocalyptic version of "Can't stop the signal," which has two problems - one, it's cuckoo-for-coco-pops insane; and two, nobody cares about the story in the wraparound segments. V/H/S Viral falls on its face because it forgets what it started off doing and did so well - short found-footage films by up-and-coming directors that explored various horror themes - and ends up thinking that the vague mythology that it created to roughly tie the films together was more important. Sure, creepy dead guy in the chair in the first movie was a bit interesting and scary, but the film didn't live or die on him.

So, here ends the V/H/S trilogy. It started off strong, had a universally-agreed high spot in its second chapter, but then sadly fell on its ass for its final chapter. It's a shame too, as I'd really really hoped it would end on a high note, but hopefully the only resurrection it will have is the occasional full-length feature based on the better of its shorts, like the afore-mentioned Siren coming out next year...

The ABCs of Death 2 (2014)

Well hey, will you look at this. I'm actually reviewing something in a relatively quick and current turnaround - The ABCs of Death 2 only hit the streaming sites this week. It's also not been long since I reviewed the first one as well, so a lot of things are still fresh in my mind.

As you will have gathered if you read my review of the first ABCs of Death anthology, I found it to be somewhat hit-and-miss and more than a little disappointing. The former complaint is a common pitfall in anthology horror, because very rarely are you going to enjoy every segment (especially in cases such as this, when there are 26 short films to take in); the latter complaint however comes from finding some shorts not just be disappointing, but outright bad or even offensive. Well thankfully, the sequel has tightened things up considerably and the quality of the shorts has improved a lot as well. Not every short is going to meet with everyone's approval still, of course, and there's still the occasional questionable short, but overall the sequel is better than the original.

Like my first review, rather than go through all 26 short films I'm just going to cover the ones that stood out to me the most, for good or bad reasons.

C is for Capital Punishment - I admit it; I liked this one because of personal views. I felt it really showed the flaws in the capital punishment system (yes, I went there) in a pretty bleak, memorable way.

D is for Deloused - I didn't like this one. I didn't like the animation style, I found the story (short though it was) confusing, and there were insects. Yeek.

G is for Grandad - This was a mindfuck of a short; deeply creepy, and deeply amusing. It was wonderfully surreal while still managing to stay grounded in reality and was one of my favourite shorts of the entire anthology.

J is for Jesus - Ooh, this one might be controversial. A gay man is tortured after his lover is killed, starts experiencing stigmata, and then his lover returns as a demon for revenge against the "holy men" who are torturing his lover. Again, I really liked this one, and thought it was pretty brave to link its themes together.

L is for Legacy - One I didn't like here. I know all these shorts were low-budget, but the effects in this one really stood out. Plus I really couldn't work out what the hell was going on and why it related to the title word, 'Legacy'. Was the black demon there because of the failed sacrifice? Because someone lied? Because a rat died? What the hell is a 'prince venom'?

O is for Ochlocracy (Mob Rule) - Who said horror movies can't be educational? Another of my favourites, this one involving survivors of a zombie apocalypse being brought before a court of zombies to answer for their crimes. Makes sense when you think about it all.

P is for P-P-P-P-Scary - No. This was supposed to be an homage to black-and-white comedy, but the only two things that were in my head for the whole of the segment were, "Why does the dancing man look like Ray Wise?" and "Why do they have such big fake noses?" The latter question made me worry that the short was going somewhere awkward, but overall it wasn't funny or very scary (and really, you couldn't think of something else for the letter P?)

R is for Roulette - Now this is how black-and-white homages should be done. Three people in a cellar play Russian Roulette, which turns out to be the kinder option for whatever is massing upstairs. Another very good short.

S is for Split - Best short of the whole film. A man on the phone to his wife has to listen as an intruder breaks in and attacks her. Brutally horrifying, gripping and manages to have a good twist at the end.

T is for Torture Porn - Oh, I was torn on this one. Directed by the Soska Sisters! Turning the tables on mysogynists in modelling and film shoots in a unique way! But... it relied on a rape joke for the punchline, which made me sad. Thankfully the post-credits sequence redeemed it somewhat by turning it fully into absurdist satire.

W is for Wish - A brilliant premise - two young brothers wish themselves into the world of their favourite He-Man knock-off, only to discover it isn't as fun as they'd imagined. Very imaginative and with a touch of the Cthulhu Mythos in there if you squint... but it's marred by a pedophilia joke at the end.

So, this time 11 shorts really stood out to me, and of those there were only three that I really didn't like. The rest of the shorts were, for the most part, good as well, but as I said if I went over all 26 of them we'd be here forever. There's definitely a solid shift to more horror-comedy in this sequel as well, which works well with the material that makes it up. Overall, this is a good sign and a welcome improvement in a series that didn't impress me all that much with its first offering.

 

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The ABCs of Death (2012)

The ABCs of Death (2012)

I've mentioned before, in my V/H/S and V/H/S/2 reviews, that I've never really been a fan of anthology horror movies. Horror TV series are fine, with the Masters of Horror series being a prime example, but until the aforementioned films came along I never really thought much of anthology horror in movies at all. 2012, however, was apparently a new beginning for the anthology horror movie, as The ABCs of Death was also released that year.

The premise is a pretty straightforward one, as I'm sure you can guess; 26 short films, each by a different director who was given a letter of the alphabet and told to make a short horror film out of it. That's an awful lot of short films to remember details about, even straight after watching, and detailing all 26 of them would take a very long time. So instead I'm going to comment briefly on my favourite and least favourite shorts of the whole thing. Basically the ones that were the most memorable.

A is for Apocalypse - A woman suddenly starts trying to violently kill her bedbound husband. I liked this one because it just dropped us straight into the action and left us guessing as to what was going on till the very end. And it all made sense, in a twisted sort of way.

D is for Dogfight - Probably one of the best shorts in the entire movie. A man enters an underground dog fighting ring - a literal dog fighting ring, that is - and has to bare-knuckle fight a viciously-trained dog.

F is for Fart - A Japanese schoolgirl is in love with her teacher because of her farts and wishes to be absorbed into them. Maybe I'm not the right audience for this, maybe I just missed the satire, but I didn't enjoy this one at all. It was just... purile.

L is for Libido - The other contender for being the best short of the whole movie. A man wakes up to discover that he is tied to a chair and forced to participate in a contest where he and another man must masturbate to various scenes of porn, and whoever finishes second is killed. The director of this one, Timo Tjahjanto, was also the one behind the incredible "Safe Haven" segment of V/H/S/2.

M is for Miscarriage - Yeah, I did not like this one at all, and if this had been my first exposure to director Ti West's work I wouldn't have been likely to look at any of his other work afterwards. It's purile again, and maybe a little misogynistic (if you squint at it).

P is for Pressure - A woman who may or may not be a prostitute (I don't think the film ever made that clear, despite what some summaries say) takes a role in a crush film to pay for toys for her children. It should be pretty clear why I really disliked this one.

T is for Toilet - When they were making The ABCs of Death, the producers held a competition for the final slot, for any and all new filmmakers to enter. The winner was Lee Hardcastle, known on YouTube for his claymation version of The Thing, and this was his short for the movie. It's claymation, funny and bleak at the same time, and I liked it.

U is for Unearthed - The story of a vampire as he is dug up and revived, goes on a bit of a rampage and then is staked by an angry mob. Pretty straightforward, except that the whole short it shot entirely from the vampire's perspective, which is what caught my eye and got it into my favourites list.

So out of 26, there were 5 short films that I really liked and 3 that I really disliked. The other 18 were, for one reason or another, just not memorable enough for whatever reason or just not offensive enough for me to end up hating them. Of course, with so many short films to choose from opinions are always going to vary and just about everyone is going to have their favourites. But ideally I think there should have been more of them that I could actually remember without having to resort to Wikipedia to look them up...

 

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V/h/s/2 (2013)

V/H/S/2 (2013)

Long-time readers of this blog will remember my review of the first V/H/S movie last year, wherein I raved about the clever little indie-anthology-found footage film for almost the entire time. So it's going to come as no surprise to anyone that I feel much the same way about the sequel, V/H/S/2. Well, not quite the same. V/H/S/2 is actually better.

The format of the movie is still the same - there's a wraparound segment that very loosely holds the film together, and the individual segments themselves as video tapes watched during the wraparound. This time around the wraparound segment concerns two rather sleazy and more than a little corrupt private detectives who are looking for a missing student. Said student had gotten involved in the world of the VHS tapes from the first movie, and as things progress we get a little more of the mythology surrounding them filled in. As with the first movie, the wraparound is the weakest of all the segments, complete with a particularly dumb ending that I've seen described elsewhere as "Hello, I'm Johnny Chinless for Jackass." (and thank you Something Awful's horror thread for that)

So onto the "proper" films themselves. First up we have "Phase I Clinical Trials", by Adam Wingard (of You're Next fame, among others), which features a man partially blinded in a car accident who gets a new bionic eye... which also allows him to see ghosts. And the ghosts are angry at him. "A Ride in the Park" is from Eduardo Sánchez and Gregg Hale (whose previous work you might have heard of; it was a little film called The Blair Witch Project) and is about a zombie attack from the point-of-view of one of the zombies involved (by way of a Go Pro camera on a cycle helmet that the zombie wears throughout). "Safe Haven" is by Gareth Huw Evans and Timo Tjahjanto, and is about a documentary crew visiting the compound of a suspicious cult on the same day that the cult's prophecised apocalypse begins. Finally, "Slumber Party Alien Abduction" is by Jason Eisener, and is, quite basically, about a slumber party interrupted by aliens who want to abduct everyone there. It's also filmed via dog-cam.

So, which of them are any good this time around? Well, all of them are pretty good, although far and away the best of the segments is "Safe Haven", which can best be described as "batshit crazy awesome". Its final 10 seconds do let it down by going a bit too goofy, but that's hardly an issue when the rest of it just starts off at 11 and keeps cranking it up from there. Going into any more detail would spoil things completely, so just believe me when I say that "Safe Haven" is worth seeing V/H/S/2 on its own.

Of the other three... I personally really liked "A Ride in the Park" for being an original take on a zombie movie, although my other half with his hatred of all things zombie that aren't Shawn of the Dead merely rated it as "okay". His second-favourite segment was actually "Phase I Clinical Trials", which he found to be particularly creepy and unnerving, as well as an original idea as to why some people see ghosts and others don't. It also put a new spin on the old myths about transplanted organs. Both of us enjoyed "Slumber Party Alien Abduction" as well, which was just a high-energy, fun segment to end things with - marred only by a slightly mean-spirited ending.

As with the first movie, there's an underlying theme running through all of the segments in V/H/S/2, and this time it's more or less "responsibilities and consequences". As I said earlier, there's also some further explanation of the whole mythology of these tapes, which is... interesting, but a little bewildering at the same time (although the shout-outs to the first movie in the wraparound segment, complete with portraits of the Creepy Dead Guy in the chair from the first movie, are very appreciated).

So, V/H/S/2 manages to be one of those rare sequels that can be considered as good as - or even better - than its predecessor. Of course, the third movie in the series, V/H/S: Viral has since come out and so at some point in the future I shall be reviewing that as well, but let's just say that, for now, V/H/S/2 has the series on a high point.

 

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Movie Review - V/H/S (2012)

When I first heard about V/H/S I was in two minds about it. On the one hand it was found footage, which has long been a fascination/guilty pleasure of mine...  but on the other hand it was also anthology horror, and I've never been too fond of anthologies. In the end though I decided to give it a chance, and I'm glad I did because V/H/S is one of the best and most original horror films I've seen in the past few years.

So the setup and framing device for V/H/S is a pretty simple one. A group of teenage hooligans who like to video the crimes they commit - such as vandalism, sexual assault and the like - are hired by a mysterious person to break into a house and steal a video tape. When they get there, however, they discover rooms full of junk and, in one room in particular, a dead man seated facing a bank of TVs and unmarked video tapes. Trying to find out which tape they're meant to be stealing, they start to watch the tapes, and that's where the anthology portion properly kicks in.

There are five videos that make up the bulk of the anthology, each by a different up and coming director. The first is Amateur Night, by David Bruckner. Shot using a hidden-glasses cam, it shows a trio of thoroughly obnoxious college students out to take advantage of some drunk girls, and what happens when they pick up the wrong girl. Second Honeymoon is by Ti West and features a couple on a holiday through the Grand Canyon who are being stalked by a mysterious masked figure. Tuesday the 17th is by Glenn McQuaid and is about a group of college students going on a camping trip to some woods where something terrible happened in the past. The Sick Thing That Happened To Emily When She Was Younger is by Joe Swanberg and is done entirely by Skype video calls between a long-distance couple, the female of which believes her house is haunted. Finally 10/31/98 is by the collective Radio Silence and is about a group of guys going to a Halloween fancy dress party who go to the wrong house by mistake.

Let's get one thing out of the way now - if you get motion sickness from watching found-footage films, then you are not going to enjoy watching V/H/S. The cameras shake, stutter and generally aren't very stable at all, and so they end up being pretty nausea-inducing for anyone prone to that.

As for the segments themselves, what with it being an anthology means that everyone is going to have their favourites. I personally liked Amateur Night and 10/31/98 the best, while my other half (in a rare moment of watching one of my films with me) preferred Second Honeymoon and The Sick Thing... The general consensus from people I've talked to seems to be that Tuesday the 17th is the weakest of the segments (aside from the framing story, which suffers from the problem of being the framing story which never work out too well), although I have warmed too it slightly after reading an alternate take on it (without giving too much away, count backwards from the title date a few days and see where that gets you). In the end of course though, everyone is going to have their own personal favourites and so my opinion can only count for so much.

There is an underlying theme running through all the stories (as well as the mythology of the tapes themselves, but that's something that's covered in greater detail in the sequel, V/H/S/2 and, I assume, the upcoming V/H/S: Viral); it's one part the dark side of the male gaze and one part women as predator/prey. If that's making you worry about it having some sory of angry feminism or anti-men message though, don't worry. After all, it is horror, and in horror there always have to be people who deserve killing and people who don't, and subverting expectations is always a good thing in film. Also, in the end it's really just a set of found-footage horror shorts, and very enjoyable ones at that. Finally, V/H/S managed to change my opinions of anthology horror, and that's also a good thing.

 

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Movie Review - Evidence (2013)