As 2017 draws to a close, it's time to take a look back at all the films I've reviewed this year and give my completely subjective opinion on which were the best and which were the ones I'd sooner stab rusty nails in my eyes rather than watch again. Note: these lists are made up solely of the films I actually managed to see in 2017, so of course I might have missed out on a hidden gem or pile of garbage somewhere.
Worst Five Horror Films of 2017:
5 - The Bye Bye Man
Juvenile jump scares, artificial tension and the SlenderHobo were bad enough, but learning about the perfectly good (and creepy) story that they cut out while making this film managed to elevate this film to a new level of bad.
A cure for boredom. Over two hours of never-ending, slow-moving and yet painfully obvious plot, that somehow still manages to leave plot holes and unanswered questions at the end.
3 - Temple
A last-minute entry, saving Rings (of all movies) from a spot on this list. Plotlines that go nowhere, uninteresting and/or unlikeable characters and an ending that screams, "We ran out of time, money, script or all three." It's a terrible shame that Simon Barrett's name has been attached to this film.
2 - The Snowman
I warned you all that this one had made the list back in the original review. Executive meddling utterly destroyed the shooting of this film, leading it to become a boring, muddled mess with plot threads that went nowhere and a killer that I picked out fifteen minutes into the film. But at least it had pretty scenery.
1 - Flatliners
The film that made me wish for death while watching it in the cinema, it was that dull and insipid. I couldn't stand any of the characters except maybe Ray, all the "interesting" bits were spoiled in the trailer and it wasn't so much a horror as it was an afterschool special on the importance of being responsible for your actions.
(Dis)Honourable Mentions: Rings, which at least had a good opening scene in the plane, and The Mummy, which managed to sink an entire franchise all by itself, but at least Russell Crowe's scenes weren't too bad.
Top Five Horror Films of 2017:
5 - Split
A return to familiar ground by its director M Night Shyamalan, that came with a twist that excited a whole lot of people when they saw it. Dodgy evolutionary biology theories aside, Split was a very good psychological horror that held its audience's attention and didn't leave anything hanging at the film's end - aside from the obvious lead-in to the next movie, that is.
A beautifully shot Victorian serial killer story, with an excellent cast and an engaging plot. I figured out who the Golem was about halfway through the film, but that didn't negatively impact the film, and the killer's identity made sense in the overarching story of the film. It was also a fascinating look at Victorian music hall culture.
3 - The Void
The Silent Hill/Cthulhu Mythos crossover we've all been waiting for. Parts of the plot might not be the strongest, but it's more than made up for with the atmosphere of the film, and the glistening wet practical effects that fill the film to (literally) bursting.
2 - Get Out
A film that should make you uncomfortable to watch it for all the right reasons. Pitch black comedy subtly mixed in with modern issues horror, where every character actually has a reason for being there and whose twists even I didn't see coming. Even its use of music is excellent.
1 - IT
Deciding whether this film or Get Out was going to get the #1 slot was tough but eventually, IT won out simply because, as well as being a brilliant film, it was also a rare film that lived up to all its hype. All the cast are excellent, especially Bill Skarsgard; the effects are the right mix of practical and CGI, and the storyline is suitably enthralling. A whole new generation can now develop a fear of clowns from this film.
Honourable Mention: mother! because even though it was an excellent film, any film that manages to give me an anxiety attack in the cinema automatically gets points taken off.
Apparently, 2018 is going to have another Purge movie. I guess we might know now what one of the Worst films is going to be...
